Desi Jokes Dirty Jokes Double Meaning Jokes Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Insult SMS Poor Jokes Rajini Jokes See More


Desi Jokes Dirty Jokes Double Meaning Jokes Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Insult SMS Poor Jokes Rajini Jokes Santa Banta SMS Santas SMS






Nobody teaches

volcanoes 2 erupt

tsunamis 2 arise

hurricanes 2 sway around

n

no-one teaches how 2 choose a wife.



Natural disasters just happen.!.!.!. =P ->

       


Husband or Wife me Jhagra ho gaya to Wife ne apni Maa ko fone kiya:



Ammi mera unse jaghra ho gaya he me 3, 4 maah k liye aap k ghar aa rahi hun



Maa boli: usey apne kiye ki saza puri puri milni chahiye

tum wahin raho 3, 4 mahine k liye me aa rahi hon

       


Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo Ge To Mere Jesi Biwi Nai Milegi..



Husband: Tumhe Kis Ne Kaha K Dusri Bar B Tumhare Jesi He Dhundunga? :

       


Bv:

Shadi se pehle to tum mujh per bare sher kehte the!



Husband:

Ab waqt badal gaya hy



Bv:

Phir b -JAANI- koi sher kehdo!



Husband:

lo sunO



Jane jigar janeman



90 kilo tera wazan



Tu jo gir jaye mujh par



Mar jaonga me sanamsmile.png

       


Bivi : {shohar se} ghar mehman aarhe hen or ghar men dal ke siwa kuch nhi he

lehaza jab mehman aajaen tu tum kichan men jakr 1 brtan giran . Men puchon tu kehna QORMA gir gya phir 2sra brtan gira dena or kehna BRYANi gir gei .

tu men khon gi chalo Dall hi le ao . Mehmano ke aane ke bad shohar kichan men gya aur brtan gir ne ki aawaz aai

bivi kya hwa ..

Shohar : begam Dall hi gir gaei frown.pngsquint.png)

       


1 aurat 2sri sy,

Mujhy apny shohr pe shak hy,wo kisi larki sy milta hy.

2sri aurt,

Phir tum kia karogi..?

1st,

Me aj hi apny boyfrnd ko shohar k pechy lgati hon

       


A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs 4 her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!

Oh my GOD! You-re cooking too many at once.

TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

We need more butter. Oh my GOD!

WHERE r we going 2 get MORE BUTTER?

They-re going 2 STICK! Careful . CAREFUL!

I said be CAREFUL!

U NEVER listen 2 me when u-re cooking! Never!

Turn them! Hurry up! r u CRAZY?

I Like SMS - Like: 124 - SMS Length: 500

       


Husband: begum khana tayar nahi hua abhi?

Begum: nahi g,thori dair baqi ha.

Husband: theek ha mein bahar se kha leta hon.

Begum: bas 5 mint ruk jaen.

Husband:5 mint mein khana tayar ho jaega?

Begum: nahi mein tayar ho jaungi.

       


Difference between

POETRY & LECTURE





Any word said by girlfriend is "Poetry"



&



anything said by wife is "Lecture"

       


Bv doctor se,mere shohar ko sotey mein bolne ki bimaari hai mein unhain kya doon,?

,

,

Doctr,-Aap unhe jagty mein bolne ka moqa dein¿:+>

       


Patni (Pati se): Tum to Kehte Thy



K Shaadi K Baad Bhi Mujhe Khoob Pyaar Karoge.







Pati: Sorry Yaar! Mujhe Maalum Nahi Tha



K Tumhari Shaadi Mujhse Hogi-)

       


Chintu: Papa What-s the Difference Between

Mother-s Tears & Wife-s Tears?



Father: Mother-s tears Affect your HEART,



And



Wife-s Tears Affect your POCKET. smile.png

       


I met a man who had been married for 66 years.

"Amazing..66 years!" I said.

"What-s the secret to such a long, happy marriage?"

"Well, It-s like thisThe man makes all the big decisions and the woman just makes the little decisions."

I responded, "Does that really work?"

"Oh, yes" he said proudly"66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"

       


Wife: Janu! Kash aap message hotay, main ap ko save karti, jab chahe parhti



Husband: Kanjoos, save hi kar k rakhti ya apni kisi saheli ko forward bhi karti?

       


A HUSBAND-s CUTE LOVE QUOTE:



Even my child too started 2 walk without any support but my wife still feels 2 hold my hand while walking..!!

       


Wife: Suno ji, Is Haftey Hum Roz Cinema Dekhne Jaayenge.





Uske Agle Hafte hum Roz Shopping K Liye Jaayenge.





Husband: Aur Uske Agle Haftey Roz Mandir Jaayenge.





Wife: Kyo?







Husband- Bheek Mangenge. smile.png

       


Every Wife is a -Mistress- of her husband . . .



.



-MISS- for one hour and -STRESS- for 23 hours everyday . . . !grin.png

       


Wife: "Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!"

Husband (ghusay se): "Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!"

Wife: "Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!"

       


Wife: Sirf Mere Liye He Paan Kyon Le Rahe Ho?

Apne Liye Bhi Le Lo



.

.

.

.

.



Husband: Mai Bina Paan Khaye Bhi Chup Reh Sakta Hon. smile.png

       


Man to Barber: Cut my hair Short.

.

Barber: How short You would like to?

.

.

.

.

Man: So Short that My Wife Cannot pull them

       


Marriage Tip:



If Wife Wants To Get

Husband-s Attention,

Just Look

Sad & Uncomfortable.



If Husband Wants To Get

Wife-s Attention,

Just Look

Comfortable & Happy =P )

       


Wife: You delivered an excellent speech.

Hubby: Thanks dear but the audience was full of fools and idiots.

Wife: Is that why you addressed them as your brothers and sisters?

       


A true husband is one who lays down the laws for his wifeand then accepts all her amendments!

       


Husband: tum aesi roti nahi bana sakhti jesi meri ammi pakati thi.

Wife: paka sakti hun agar tum be aeisa aata goondo jesa tumhare abbu goonda krty thy.

       


Doc: "After looking at these test results, I recommend your husband should have an operation immediately!"

Wife: "But Doc, this will seriously affect his hobby"

Doc astonished: "What in the world is the hobby?"

Wife: "Saving Money!"

       


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